


Moonlight

by Natterina



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Gen, Healing, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Multi, Recovery, Riku and Sora pining once again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 14:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11106270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natterina/pseuds/Natterina
Summary: They bring him in three hours before dawn.Terra remembers nothing.Post 3D.





	Moonlight

They bring him in three hours before dawn.

No one knows _how_ they did it, or when Aqua and Riku decided to bail on their mission and divert course, but most of the castle is awoken simultaneously by the sound of the gummi ship dropping down hard on the landing pad. Sora leaves his assigned room, already awake as he finds it difficult to sleep in a converted storage closet, and finds Kairi and Ventus on the corridor. Kairi’s cheeks are flushed as they approach him, and the three of them make their way through the twisting hallways of Radiant Garden’s castle.

They make it to the research laboratory just as Aqua and Riku do. The former’s face could be set in stone, so hard is her expression, though apart from a bruise on her cheek and several patches of singed fabric on her skirt, she appears unharmed. Riku looks exhausted, his eyes alert but with dark circles beneath them, and he is covered in several cuts, some of which have not stopped bleeding. Sora’s eyes practically bug out of his head as his heart drops into his stomach, but Riku shakes his head in a _no_ when Sora goes to step towards him.

Between the two keyblade masters, half conscious and being held up by his arms slung over Riku and Aqua’s shoulders, is who Sora can only assume to be Terra. The Organization coat that hangs off his shoulders is ripped almost to shreds, to the point where Sora can only recognise it by the symbol on the edge of the metal zip. Ventus moves forward, but Sora and Kairi hold him back as Riku and Aqua rush down the corridor ahead of them.

The lab is _chaos_.

Ienzo is at the computer, inputting far too many commands into it for Sora to make sense of anything, and various alarms go off as the door to the side of the computer slides open. The smell of musty air infiltrates the lab, but Riku and Aqua do not stop moving as they follow an alert Aeleus through it and into the darkness beyond. Sora glances back at Kairi and Ventus, and the three of them follow without hesitation. The ramps light up as Riku and Aqua approach it, but the descent is not long before they end up on the bottom floor of the lab.

Sora looks up in confusion: aside from the many pods, all of them now empty, there’s nothing here.

But Aeleus motions to the floor, and as Aqua and Riku step off the ramp the floor in front of them cracks open, two giant metal doors in the floor sliding apart. The smell is even _worse_ , musty and damp and sharp enough to elicit a cough from Sora. His lungs feel sharp, but Riku and Aqua move through it once the gap is big enough to manoeuvre into.

The area beneath is already lit up, but Sora doesn’t miss how Kairi grabs both his and Ventus’ hands and squeezes them when the doors slam shut once they’re through.

The air is even worse inside. Sora has a feeling that _this_ is the lab that Ienzo had spoken of, the one that was forbidden. The one where the apprentices had locked up thousands of people to become test subjects, where they experimented on countless people just to prove their theories of the heart, to push their knowledge further. It smells horrific, but Riku and Aqua push on down the ramp in front of them until they reach a gigantic, spiral ramp that descends downwards.

In curiosity, Sora drops a fireball off the edge. The darkness swallows it long before Sora feels it extinguish itself on the floor.

It takes several minutes to reach the bottom, even as the two keyblade masters hurry as quickly as they can. The doors at the base opens when Aeleus presses his palm to it, and when the doors slide apart Sora cannot stop himself from gasping.

Hundreds of cells, giant grey doors chained shut, line either side of the corridor. The bars in the centre are shaped like a diamond, and Sora tries his hardest not to peek into them. He knows they are empty, but looking in will give him an idea of the room within, and he does not wish for his mind to imagine for itself the horrors that took place in those rooms.

And so, Sora is understandably shocked when Aeleus opens the door to the third cell in on the left, and Aqua and Riku all but bodily haul the half-unconscious Terra inside. Kairi lets go of his hand to bring it to her mouth in surprise, as Aqua and Riku drag him over to the wall at the back and hold him there. Through the dim light of the room Sora can see deep blue eyes flash gold, but Terra has no chance to move his arm before Riku slams him against the wall with all the strength that years of training has afforded him.

Riku stands in front of him, a grimace on his lips.

“Sorry about this.” Without warning, Riku summons Way to the Dawn, and smacks Terra upside the head with the hilt. Terra slumps against the wall, and Aqua and Riku immediately pull the heavy chains from the wall and tie Terra down. The one in Riku’s hand makes a satisfying _snap_ as it closes around Terra’s wrist.

Terra wakes back up only seconds later, and the gold in his eyes dim and then disappears as Terra leans his head back against the wall, though his eyes are resigned as he watches them.

Sora winces. The bruise from that smack is gonna _hurt_.

Aqua places a hand on Terra’s forehead, and Sora sees the green healing magic seeping into him. The cut above his eye disappears as the skin knits back together.

Aqua ushers them all out of the room once she removes her hand, and Sora can only watch in shock as she threads the chains through the doorway to ensure Terra cannot get out by normal means. She then surrounds the cell in a reflect spell, before she takes a step back.

“You’re just gonna leave him in there?” Sora can’t keep the indignant surprise out of his voice, but Riku steps closer to him and shakes his head.

“Only until we know it’s safe-“

“So you lock him in a cell this far underground?” Sora thinks it is unnecessarily cruel: if Terra regains any of his memories from his time as Xehanort, he sure as _hell_ is going to realise he’s trapped underground in a cell surrounded by the haunted empty rooms where he _tortured_ and _experimented_ on people. That’s not going to be fun.

“It won’t be for long, we just need to be _sure_.” Aqua says, and Sora narrows his eyes at the both of them before he shakes his head in disappointment and turns to leave. Riku goes after him.

“It’s not as simple as you want it to be, Sora!”

“Yes it is! He’s a _man_ , not an animal! Chaining him up like that is _not_ going to put him on our side-“

“I agree, but if he can’t control it, if he _turns_ and we’ve put him in a bedroom, we give Xehanort access to all of us…”

The words trail off as Riku and Sora descend the ramps, Riku chasing after the brunet. Kairi looks at Ventus, giving his hand another comforting squeeze before she takes off after them. Aqua raises her eyebrow at Ventus, but the blond ignores it with a flush to his neck as he peeks into the cell. Blue eyes look back at him across the tiny distance, and he bows his head.

“Will he be okay?”

Aqua’s face goes from stony to protective in a second. She places a hand on Ventus’ shoulder, stroking the ends of his hair gently.

“Of course, Ven. He’s too stubborn not to pull through.” Her smile is warm, and Ventus grins in agreement. “The important thing is we _have_ him. He’s here, and we won’t lose him again.”

Ventus leaves her there, knowing she will need some privacy to sort through how she feels about all of this. He had not been blind to Aqua and Terra’s feelings for one another, even if _they_ had been oblivious to it.

When he finally gets back to the lab, Lea has also turned up, sitting in the corner and heating up several of Ienzo’s experiments in an attempt to irritate the slate haired man. Ventus offers him a smile, which is returned with full cocky-bravado, and it hurts his heart. He wants to be friends with Lea, sensing in him a kindred love for mischief and fun, but they never spend more than a few hours together at most. Each day that they spend time together, Lea inevitably gets a forlorn look in his eyes that Ventus sees no matter how well Lea hides it behind his smirks and his wicked humour, and he cannot live with a friend who wishes he were someone else. It is neither of their faults, but it is still too bittersweet when he considers he has only been awake for a few months.

Sora and Riku are still arguing, though their tones have lowered and Ventus cannot hear anything they are saying. He only knows they are still at odds because of how Sora’s eyebrows are furrowed, and Riku stands there with his hands crossed firmly across his chest. Kairi sits on a stool behind them with her eyes flicking between them both, though she shoots Ventus an exasperated look when she catches his eye.

Ventus looks at the clock: it’s only been half an hour since the gummi ship landed on the roof. There’s no way, however, that he’s going to be able to go back to sleep.

So Ventus tries again.

He heads over to Lea, a smile quirking half of his lips, and the redhead looks up from where he’s heating up a blue liquid with an eyebrow cocked.

“Wanna go skate through the marketplace?”

Lea’s answer is a grin.

* * *

He doesn’t remember much at first.

Everything is hazy, his memories a thread that needs to be pulled, but which he cannot reach from where he lies in the dark, chained to the wall with little light to keep him company. He knows only the basic things. His name is _Terra_. He grew up in a land with a castle and a man who is both a father and not a father.

He knows the blue-haired woman means no harm and he knows that she can pack a punch better than even him. He knows the blond boy is safe, a _friend_ , but he cannot remember names and the rest is lost in the darkness.

Some things return quickly. He remembers nights under the stars, laughing with friends in one castle. He remembers another castle, and charming people down to the lower levels, laughing with colleagues. He remembers the faces of everyone he saved, and those he led to their deaths.

He remembers holding his keyblade out to a boy on a beach, and driving that same blade into his master, his _father_.

The first person to visit him is the blue-haired woman. She had spent hours outside of the cell that first night, and he had watched her with resignation through the bars. If she had said anything, he did not hear.

But the next day she returns (at least, he thinks it is a day, there is no natural _light_ ), and she unlocks the cell herself and steps in. She is alone, but he can see the shimmer of a reflection spell sticking close to her like a second skin.

“Terra.”

He remembers her _voice_ , remembers dreaming it whispered against his lips in a dark room, hearing it being shouted across a courtyard and across a field, carried on the wind in the gardens as they sparred age ten, thirteen, fifteen, seventeen, _twenty_. He remembers it shouting in desperation atop keyblades, before being encased in a spell to keep him safe.

“Aqua.” The word comes to his lips easily, though he does not know if remembers her name spontaneously or if it is muscle memory that forms her name on his lips. There is food on a plate on the floor: he cannot decide if it was always there, or if she has brought it.

His legs hurt from being forced to stand for so long, and a whisper in the back of his mind tells him he deserves it, for locking so many people up in similar cells for far longer. He doesn’t understand what that means.

Her hand lifts up towards his face, fingertips gentle as they graze along his jaw. She holds his face there, her thumb on his cheek and her fingers curled against his throat. Part of him wants to summon the keyblade he cannot remember but knows he can wield; the other part wants to curl into her touch.

She looks into his eyes with a searching gaze, and Terra feels that unyielding darkness in his chest rise up again. It is a bitter monster that snaps at his heels and crushes his chest, but Terra can’t reel it in no matter how hard he tries. The struggle must show on his face as he grits his teeth, and whatever Aqua is searching for in his eyes she does not find it.

Even as she pulls away, no longer leaning in to search his eyes, her fingers slide into his hair. Even as he leans into it he doesn’t _understand_ it. He _wants_ the touch to trigger a memory, to fill in the gaps of the things he is missing, but it does not. Loving a woman he could not help but love, and then forgetting, _that_ was easy. This?

His mouth tastes like ash.

Her hand drops to her side as she straightens, and her voice is firm when she speaks.

“We will save you, Terra. I promise.” Her optimistic smile is sweet but false, and he wants to tell her to be _honest_. He doesn’t want this fake hope she is portraying when he knows her better than he even knows himself, even with a spotty memory. He wants her to be angry at him, for crimes he cannot remember, wants her to beat him as hard as she did when he wasn’t even controlling himself, a punishment to fit the unknown crime that fits a thousand dead faces and dozens of worlds lost to the darkness.

But he knows her, even in the darkness, and he knows she will never lay a finger on him so long as he is _himself_.

If she expected a reply, Terra doesn’t give her one. He watches her, unaware that his eyes have flashed gold more than once in the span of their five minutes together, until the intensity in his gaze ensures that Aqua takes a step back.

He keeps his eyes on her as she disappears through the door, and as he hears the sound of the chains being threaded through the opening he thinks to himself that he is no better than a rabid dog. The little purple light in the room extinguishes, but it is replaced by a soft ball of yellow light that floats in the corner out of his reach.

He smiles at the door, and hears the sound of Aqua’s boots tapping on the floor as she leaves.

* * *

The rest comes back in dribs and drabs, too much information for him to process over who knows how many days, until Terra feels exactly like himself and a stranger in his own body.

He remembers everyone, long days and nights spend in the gardens of the Land of Departure, Ventus on his right and Aqua on his left, the trio that could never be torn apart that fell apart regardless. He remembers the feeling of failure, not quite twenty-two but full of pride and stubbornness, and Master Xehanort’s words in his ears like liquid honey.

Master Xehanort in his mind, stripping him from his bones and boxing him away into a dark corner of his own heart, forced to watch but unable to control every action. He has control, and then he does not.

He wakes up more than once in the night, screaming in pain as that last remnant of Xehanort emerges from his heart when he is at his weakest. It tries to take over, to pull him from himself and insert itself into every little crevice in his heart and body. Terra does not let it, pushes down everything that could possibly be Xehanort. It does not always work, and more than once Terra has come back to himself to find that he has been pulling at the chains until his wrists are red raw.

But he _remembers._

* * *

“Riku, _please_ , I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

Sora is pulling at Riku’s jacket sleeve, trying to get him to _stop_. They are halfway to the castle, having spent the morning eating ice-cream in the marketplace. It is warm, but Riku wears the dark zip-up to hide the yellowing bruises he gained from capturing Terra.

Riku turns to look at Sora, and both of his hands are in the pockets as he frowns. Sora thinks it looks quite funny, seeing Riku so bundled up.

“What would you have me do, Sora? Leave him there until he goes mad?”

Sora shakes his head as a couple move around them: the man tuts loudly at them for obstructing the path, but Sora pulls a face at him.

“No, _never_ that, Riku, but at least wait until we know he’s not at risk of being possessed again.”

Riku rolls his eyes.

“Damnit Sora, he’s not a wild animal. The longer we wait, the more likely he is to be possessed. He’s better off now, learning to push it down.”

“Riku it’s been a _week!_ Give him more time-“

“ _No._ ”

Riku turns on his heel and keeps walking, and Sora narrows his eyes at his back before he follows.

“But Riku-“

Riku turns so quickly that Sora wonders he hasn’t given himself whiplash.

“ _Damnit_ , Sora, _back off_! You didn’t even want him in the cell in the first place!”

Sora does not back down, stepping closer to Riku until he is in his personal space. The discomfort flashes across Riku’s eyes, but Sora doesn’t step back.

“That was before I knew you were planning on locking yourself in there _with him_!”

Riku pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers, and the gesture is so _Leon_ that Sora feels like he’s talking to a completely different person.

The atmosphere between them has changed lately, and Sora’s not sure why. He _does_ know that he has become hyper aware of the feelings he has for Riku, and every interaction since then has been with the aim of Sora acting completely normal and not at all like the lovesick fool he is. But all it has done is painted his interactions with Riku in a slightly aggressive light, as Sora tries to put across how much he cares without showing _how much_ he cares.

Unbeknownst to him, Riku is suffering the same thing.

“Look, Sora, I’ll be fine. I promise you, I’ll be okay. But he needs someone who knows what it’s like to give in to Xehanort, and that’s not something Aqua or Ventus can give him.”

It’s as Riku looks down at him that Sora realises how close they are. Sora could count the lashes if he wanted, and Riku’s breath blows gently on his nose. Sora feels his breath hitch in his chest as the warmth of a blush begins at his neck, and Riku is looking at him like he’s _waiting_ for something.

Sora can’t breathe, his every nerve and thought focused on the space between them, his eyes flickering from Riku’s to his lips. That look _burns_ , pins him to the ground and strips him of every defence he has around himself, and Sora has never been more thankful for the stupidly baggy pants he chooses to wear.

“Hey, guys!”

They jump apart with all the force of a brick wall slamming down between them, and Sora looks up to find Ventus coming towards them on his skateboard. Riku is still looking at him, but when Sora looks over he moves so he is looking down to the side. The floor must be _real_ interesting, Sora thinks, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment in his chest.

“Everything okay?” Ventus stops near them, kicking the skateboard up into his hand as Sora frowns at him.

“I didn’t know you could skate.”

“Until three months ago, I couldn’t.” Ventus grins, and Sora frowns.

“Until three months ago, I could.” And then he scowls. “You stole my ability!”

Ventus shrugs, but Riku clears his throat and interjects.

“I’m gonna head up to the castle. I’ll see you both later.” His smile is its usual cocky one, but Sora notices that he isn’t looking him in the eyes. He turns and leaves, and even with the disappointment and fear brewing in his chest, Sora _really_ likes what that jacket does for Riku’s frame.

“What was that about?” Ventus’ head is cocked as he asks, and Sora shakes his head.

“Who knows. I thought you were supposed to be training Kairi?”

Ventus laughs then, and points behind him and up to the top of the aqueduct. Kairi is there, a bulky helmet on her head, and she is wobbling with all the grace of someone on a skateboard with no prior skill. Sora laughs.

“I don’t think that counts.”

“Wait till we’re overrun, and you’ve gotta run whilst we’re way ahead.”

Sora only shakes his head as he laughs, conceding the point to Ventus. He likes the older blond, and he knows Ventus is just as fond of him, if only because Sora is one of the few who doesn’t look at him like he’s the ghost of a boy long gone.

“Wanna join us?”

Sora declines.

“I’m gonna head up to the castle, keep an eye on Riku. Sorry you’re not allowed up there to see it.” Sora feels an awkwardness settle into his bones: he had disagreed with Merlin’s decision to keep Ventus out of the castle whilst Terra recovered, in case Terra succumbed once again. It was a foregone conclusion to most of them that Xehanort’s first target would be Ventus, but that didn’t mean they were happy with the decision.

Ventus only shrugs.

“If having me down here puts Aqua’s mind at ease, I don’t mind.”

Sora doesn’t really have an answer to that.

* * *

Riku leads Terra into the Chamber of Repose.

Once inside, he surrounds the room in a spell similar to Aqua’s, only there is a much _darker_ feeling to it, and Terra looks at the young man with his eyes narrowed in curiosity and suspicion. Riku sees the look, and scoffs.

“It’s useful, if you use it right.” He doesn’t say how he’s uncomfortable with using it so easily, still so scared of falling off the knife edge right back into Ansem’s arms, but Terra doesn’t need to know that.

“Do you remember me?”

This time Terra is the one who scoffs, though his face is more of a grimace.

“I remember everyone. Everything.”

Riku only nods, and to Terra’s utter surprise, he unlocks the chains and removes them from Terra’s wrists. They fall to the floor with a clatter, and Terra looks at Riku with a questioning expression on his face. Riku shrugs.

“You made mistakes. I don’t think keeping you in chains is going to help you get through this. I can help you, but not like that.”

Terra cannot help the darkness in his chest rising at those words, presuming them to be meaningless platitudes.

“What would you know of working through this? Of losing everything, the control of your body and your mind as the man possessing you hurts the ones you love most? You’re just a _kid_.” Terra hates the words as they leave his lips: they are not him, they are him tainted from the darkness but they’re not _Terra_ , not really.

To his credit, Riku simply stands before him with an eyebrow raised, his lips quirked into an unimpressed frown.

“Are you done? Did you forget that I was possessed by your heartless, that I wore his face for the better half of six months?”

Terra deflates, because he feels like an asshole. He did, in fact, forget. But now he remembers, and he feels even worse.

“In giving you my keyblade, did I doom you to the darkness?”

Riku refrains from rolling his eyes, and feels the need to let Terra know immediately that _that_ particular narrative is not gonna fly.

“Not _at all._ The darkness beckoned me, and I jumped _right_ in, but that was _my_ decision. It was nothing to do with you. Ansem offered me power, and I took it _wanting_ it. You tried to stop Xehanort from getting in: I opened the damned gates myself.” Riku runs a hand over his face, and takes a step closer to Terra. His predecessor is only a few inches taller, but as broken as he is, he doesn’t seem it.

“You made a mistake, Terra. Yeah you gave in, but you came _back_. It doesn’t excuse what you did, but you don’t have to be punished for it for the rest of your life.”

“But Xehanort, I can _feel_ him-“

Riku cuts him off.

“And you _always_ will. He will always be there, living in your dreams and whispering in your ear every moment you drop your guard, but you need to _control_ it. Fight it. You’ll never be rid of him, not really, but you can damn well bury him.”

And Terra stands there, the urge to overpower and _fight_ rising up and seeping into his very bones, but he doesn’t know if he wants to fight Riku or Xehanort. His memories are still askew, even if he has them all back, and the nightmares are too much to bear. He is prideful and stubborn and hell-bent on fixing his own problems, and he is broken and uncertain and _weak_.

He is Riku from three years earlier, and Riku truly does wonder if Terra’s fate had any impact on his own development.

Terra looks up from the ground, and his eyes are determined but _sad_ as he locks his gaze with Riku’s.

“Help me.”

Riku nods.

* * *

It continues like that for a month.

For the first week, all they do is talk. Riku confesses the extent of his experience with the darkness, of dealing with Xehanort’s heartless still living in his heart. It’s an unbreakable connection that Riku is not sure he will ever be rid of, and though the words aren’t comforting to Terra they ground him, give him an aim and a bar to reach.

One day Terra has woken from a particularly awful nightmare (tainting the heart of a young mother with the darkness, allowing the child to face the same fate, _uncaring about it all_ ), and Riku spends the hour sitting with him as he tears at his hair and tries to control himself. Riku whispers commands into the darkness of the chamber, encouragements to let the pain surface, to face it.

It was so much easier to do that, he thinks, when he could not remember their faces.

He wakes up pulling at the chains more often than not, but he begins to become more successful in pushing down that surge of Xehanort. He rarely snaps around Riku, only giving in _once_ and not long enough that Riku needs to summon his keyblade, and Terra feels a flicker of hope burst to life in his chest.

Aqua visits more often than not. She does not touch him, not like that first day, and it is difficult to be near her knowing what he has done. He tries to apologise, for dooming her to the Realm of Darkness, but she shuts him down immediately and emphatically tells him she would do it again in a heartbeat.

Terra doesn’t really have much to say to that. But it is so _difficult_. He knows her, knows how to make her smile and how to get her to laugh, her smile brighter than any star over the Land of Departure. He knows her darkest secrets and her deepest fears, her greatest joys and her favourite seasons, her hatred of the rain despite her name and her love of freezing things. He knows how it feels to want her, to be a lovesick _idiot_ in her presence, to close himself off around her to keep it secret. None of that has disappeared, but he cannot look at her, not after everything that has happened.

Not when she looks as him as though he has done no wrong, as though she believes in him now more than she ever has.

And then one day, Riku leads him into the chamber as he always does, removes the chains, and places Ends of the Earth into his hands.

Terra looks at it dumbly, unsure if this is some sort of trick. He knows Riku is not cruel, but the keyblade feels comfortable and familiar in his hands, and he could _weep_ because it feels like coming home. Its power runs up his arm, and he feels the remnant of Xehanort rise up again, but Terra focuses on the keyblade and grits his teeth until the whispers disappear.

Riku’s expression is unreadable, when he looks over at the younger man.

“I don’t understand.” Terra can feel his stance straightening, already feeling better in himself holding his keyblade. He has no idea where Riku has come across it, and his fingers tighten protectively around the handle.

“We don’t have the time to let you recover like you need to. Aqua disagrees with me on this, but I think a good way for you to learn to lock the darkness away is to fight with it properly.”

The idea is nigh-on insane, Terra thinks privately. His usage of the darkness was what had gotten him _into_ this mess, and Riku’s idea is preposterous. Skirting the darkness by using it in battle will surely just open him up to giving in again, right? His surprise must show on his face, for Riku laughs.

“Relax. I use it sometimes, with certain spells. At the risk of sounding like Sora, you can do it if you just believe that you can.” Riku almost cringes at his own words, but Terra looks down at the keyblade in his outstretched hand.

“Why do you trust me?” He is genuinely confused. Aqua does not release him from his chains, but Riku takes him into a wider room and removes them, and hands him back his keyblade?

“I just do. My friends trusted me, even after I betrayed them and gave in to the darkness. It helps.”

And it does, in a strange sort of way. He feels better, taller, more solid with his keyblade in his hand, and he has already been fairly open with Riku because the younger man has trusted him.

It makes him a little bitter. It should be the other way around: the successor should not be training the predecessor. It should be _him_ giving encouraging words to Riku. Riku should have come into the keyblade and Terra should have found him and _trained_ him. Instead, he is underground for his own safety and the safety of everyone else, and his successor is the Keyblade Master.

It is a bitter pill to swallow, but Terra still feels pride. He doesn’t think he could have passed his keyblade on to anyone more deserving.

* * *

When they finally allow Ventus in to see him, it is _glorious_.

There is none of the careful hesitation of Aqua, none of the open but guarded body language of Riku. There is the cell door, grey but opening slowly, as though someone is pulling on it as the chains are still being threaded through, and Terra looks up at it in confusion. The chains are gone, have been for a while now, and he can more or less move freely. He remains downstairs only for his own peace of mind, until he is certain he can lock away the worst of Xehanort.

The door opens wide enough for a body to slide through, and he catches a glimpse of blond and black and white before Ven slams into him and nearly knocks him back against the wall.

“Terra!” The absolute _joy_ in Ven’s voice is enough to make Terra laugh into the blond’s hair, and he wraps his arms around Ven in a secure grip. Time may not have passed for Aqua and Ven, but it has for him, and he feels a bubble of happiness bursting in his chest at seeing his best friend, his _brother_ , here with him. Unafraid.

He can feel Ven’s fingers digging into his back as he clings onto Terra, as if letting go would mean losing him again, and Terra will never admit that he clings back just as tightly. He remembers Xemnas’ memories, the desperate search for Ven’s body for far more sinister means, the utter _terror_ when Roxas turned up. His relief, deep down even as Xemnas raged, that no one could find him in Castle Oblivion.

Ven pulls away first, but the grin on his face is warm enough that Terra does not feel he has done so from discomfort. He keeps a hand on Ven’s shoulder, and notices how much he has _changed_. His twelve years of sleep had kept him safe from the ravages of time, and a part of Terra wonders if he is imagining the changes after the year with Roxas. Ven seems taller than Roxas ever was, if only by a few inches, but the blond is nearly the same height as Riku. His face is slimmer, more angular than it used to be (or is he thinking of Roxas, younger than Ven but identical?), and he holds himself more like Terra. He is no longer the boy that Terra had warned repeatedly to return to Eraqus.

But his eyes are still wide and blue and innocent, and Terra knows he is the same as he always has been.

“You haven’t changed.”

Ven laughs, and wipes away a stray tear in the corner of his eye.

“Yeah? Neither have you, you big lug.”

Terra smiles, before it drops and he looks down at the floor. Ven thinks he looks like he’s brooding, and he’s hit with memories of an angst-filled teenage Terra.

“Can you forgive me?”

The words pull Ven from his memories, and he frowns at Terra.

“I don’t need to forgive you, Terra. I just want the three of us to be together again.”

Terra is almost floored by the lack of hesitation in Ven’s voice. He is the one who has done wrong, too wrapped up in pride and stubbornness to realise he was being played like a fiddle: his actions have led to the entire mess the heroes are wrapped up in, but _no one_ is blaming him for it.

It is surreal.

“Soon, Ven. I promise.” And Terra means it, feeling that hope reigniting in his chest again. He will pull through for his friends, until it is safe enough that he can be up there with them, watching the stars from the parapets of the castle.

* * *

Ventus is on his own in the centre of Castletown, when Riku finds him.

He’s staring at the skateboard on the floor with an annoyed look, and Riku cocks his head to the side as he approaches.

“What did it do, kick your puppy?”

Ventus looks up with a _hm?_ His brows are furrowed in, and he kicks at the skateboard twice, until it rolls off towards a broken pipe and bounces off the wall. Riku keeps his eyebrow raised, until Ventus sighs in annoyance.

“Just an off day. Can’t get my balance right.”

Riku leans against the wall and folds his arms over his chest, whilst Ventus grabs his skateboard.

“I heard you moving around this morning.”

“Yeah, bad dreams. Kept dreaming me, Lea, and Kairi were on top of the tower, and it wouldn’t go away. Keep seeing it behind my eyes. And now this.” He holds the skateboard accusingly, and Riku only laughs at his put-out expression. “Can’t even ride the thing anymore.”

“No fleeing on that then, huh?”

Ventus scowls, and Riku’s laugh echoes through Castletown.

* * *

The darkness rises in his heart.

He feels it growing, seeping through the chains he has erected around his heart. It leaks out, tainting his heart and worming its way into his bones. His blood _burns_ , raw power twisting and turning through him, painful but natural. Golden eyes burn through the darkness and he can _feel_ it, his hair growing longer and his hands getting bigger, his bones breaking and snapping and reforming into a different frame.

It’s a temptress at his ear, whispering promises of unlimited power, everything he could ever want even as his head feels like it is splitting in two. This is what he gets for using it, for giving in, Ansem’s face and yellow eyes and pointed ears. He can’t hold back the tide as it pushes and pulses, breaking free of his heart and out into the castle, and he can’t control it because it _hurts_ -

Riku wakes with a gasp and a turn, one hand snapping out to grab at the edge of the keyblade which is prodding his shoulder. He yanks it down _hard_ , and Sora tumbles to the floor next to the bed. Riku sits up and turns the keyblade quickly until the handle is between his fingers, but he stops before he can swing it, instincts no longer on alert when he catches sight of the messy head of brown hair.

He registers the light, his bedroom, _his hands_ and his short hair tickling the nape of his neck. Sora is still on the floor, hands up in a non-threatening gesture as he tilts his head to the side.

“You’re safe, Riku. You were only dreaming.”

His sweat turns cold as goosebumps rise on his arms and neck, and Sora is still on the floor looking between him and the keyblade. Riku is wild eyed and panting, and he drops the keyblade onto the bed. It disappears immediately. He stares at Sora incredulously.

“The keyblade? _Really_?”

“I needed to wake you up! I knew if I touched you, you’d do that _to me_ , but it’s not like you have a long stick in your room!” Sora grumbles as he picks himself up from the floor, and seats himself on the edge of the bed next to Riku. The older teen draws his legs up to his chest, humour gone as the nightmare comes back in vivid colour. He had let it out, let it come _free_ and been unable to control it, what if he had gotten out-

“Hey, hey. Breathe.” Sora places a hand around Riku’s ankle, trying to ground him from the depths of whatever it was he was dreaming about as his breathing speeds up. They stay there in silence for nearly half an hour, as Riku calms himself down and reassures himself that his face is his own, his ears are rounded and his bones aren’t broken.

He breaks the silence first.

“Sorry. All that playing therapist for Terra must have opened a can of worms.” He wipes at the sweat on his forehead, the roots of his hair still cold and wet, and Sora nods.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No. Yes. _No_ , just, dreamt that I was turning into _him_ again.”

Sora doesn’t really know what he can say to comfort Riku like this. They have not shared a room since Destiny Islands fell, and so whilst Sora knows Riku had been prone to nightmares in the weeks and months after they returned, he’s never witnessed it first-hand.

“I’d never let that happen to you, Riku.” He knows the words are sappy and far too able to be construed into a deeper meaning, but Riku only laughs and releases his hold on his legs.

“Pretty sure you’d have said that the first time, and it still happened.” His laugh is sardonic and grim, and Sora shifts uncomfortably.

“I mean it. Not while I’m awake, I won’t let it happen.”

And despite his fear and his terror, Riku’s lips quirk in a not-quite smile. “Sap.”

Sora only sticks his tongue out at him, but then Riku frowns.

“What were you doing in here in the first place? You couldn’t have heard me from your room.”

Sora flushes, but in the low light of the room Riku doesn’t notice it.

“S’not important. Do you want me to stay?”

Riku chews at his lower lip, unsure which answer is the smartest one to give. If Sora leaves, he’s likely to either not sleep at all, or have another nightmare. If Sora stays, he’ll likely sleep again, but there’s a _reason_ Riku avoids sharing a room with Sora now. Sharing a room and a bed had been natural before everything that had happened, and there’d been no qualms over sleeping back to back in the same bed. But now Riku _wants_ Sora in ways he never had before, and everything in his mind yells at him that this a Very Bad Idea.

“Please.”

He curses his own mouth and brain, but Sora only grins and moves to switch off the lights before he settles on the other side of the bed. He doesn’t turn away, instead facing Riku in the darkness until he too lays down on the bed,

“You better not kick me.”

“As long as you don’t snore.”

Riku frowns indignantly. “I do _not_ snore.”

“If it helps you sleep, then of course not.” And Riku can _sense_ Sora’s smirk in the darkness, and he chooses to ignore it.

They don’t actually sleep well.

It’s more of a doze for several hours, for neither of them dare move out of fear of touching the other in their sleep, or leaning across unknowingly and clinging, and the thought is mortifying enough that they lay there almost rigid. After an hour, Sora occasionally shifts, but Riku remains on his side facing the brunet, wanting to _sleep_. The room is silent, and they both know the other is awake due to the lack of any semblance of regular breathing patterns, but they suffer in silence.

Riku dozes through the first alarm, and Sora through the second, but both wake at the third incessant buzzing of the alarm clock. Sora stretches, eyes on Riku, but when Riku opens his eyes he immediately looks up and away.

And it clicks.

Sora gets the element of aggression in their relationship, Riku’s inability to look him properly in the eye without it burning, their discomfort at something as innocent as sharing a bed. It’s things he all thought were down to him, but in that second of Riku looking away when he’s barely awake as if it’s _instinctive_ , Sora knows he’s not the only one feeling this way.

“Are you in love with me?”

Riku’s eyes widen almost comically, to the point that Sora would find it funny if he wasn’t dealing with his heart trying to claw its way into his stomach for even _asking_ that. Sora watches the panic set in, before Riku’s brow smooths.

“Of course I love you Sora, you’re my best friend.” Riku says it offhandedly, but Sora shakes his head and sits up.

“But are you _in love_ with me? Do you want to be _with_ me?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“The type you need to answer! Damnit Riku, just answer me!”

Riku scowls, but Sora can see the fear and the panic behind the expression, the utter unwillingness to answer the question honestly even though Riku cannot lie to him. There’s a moment of hesitation, where Sora thinks that Riku will just flat out deny it.

“I am. I do.”

Riku could curse his brain, but he’s so tired of hiding it, and he will not lie to Sora, not now. But Sora grins, and Riku frowns because _what_?

“Why are you smiling?”

But Sora leans forwards, back into Riku’s personal space with that look in his eyes.

“I didn’t think I’d get you to admit it that easily.”

And then Sora is pushing him down, pinning him to the pillows with his hands on his shoulders, and Riku’s brain stutters to a halt when Sora leans down to kiss him. He struggles to realise how he’s made the jump from being terrified about his feelings, to being trapped between Sora’s body and the mattress with Sora’s mouth on his own, gentle but insistent.

But then he doesn’t care, as he returns the kiss before Sora moves, shifting his weight as Riku bends one knee to settle him between his legs. It is fast and desperate, the unleashing of emotions both of them have kept hidden for _too_ long and Riku can’t breathe, doesn’t have the train of thought to. He pulls away once, gasping in a breath.

“Can I do more than kiss you?”

If Riku’s brain had stuttered to a halt, it flat out _melts_ as he breathes out. Sora is above him, chest against his own and breathing heavily, and Riku can’t say no as his hands reach under Sora’s bed shirt. “ _Please._ ”

Sora laughs, his lips moving to Riku’s jaw and kissing a blazing trail down his neck, grazing his collarbone with his teeth as Riku arches his body up into him. He has never been more thankful that he sleeps shirtless, but his sleeping pants aren’t baggy _enough_ and Sora shifts again until his thigh is pressing against Riku’s crotch. Riku pushes against it before he can stop himself, and Sora’s smirk is _madness_.

Riku buries his hand in Sora’s hair as he moves _again_ , kissing the centre of his chest, above his navel, _below_ the navel, one hand slipping down the waistline of his pants and palming his erection. Riku hisses through his teeth as Sora’s fingers dance across his hipbone, but Sora kisses the sound away as he pulls at Riku’s waistband with his other hand-

The knock at the door makes them freeze.

“Riku! Wake up man, we’re gonna be late for training!”

They look at each other, out of breath but breathing shallowly to stay quiet, but Sora’s eyes drift over to the door and Riku could groan, because _of course_ Sora didn’t fucking _lock it_. It’s not unlike Ventus to try the door, and neither of them fancy the idea of the blond walking in to find Sora’s hands down Riku’s pants and Riku leaning back into the sheets with flushed cheeks.

The doorknob rattles, and Sora’s eyes widen.

“Little busy, Ven!”

The doorknob stills.

“Sora? What are you – oh. _Oh_.” There’s a moment of mortified silence on either side of the door, before Ventus nigh on _cackles_. He doesn’t say anything else, and they hear the sound of his footsteps on the tiled floor as he walks away.

Sora grins down at him, and Riku can only laugh into his shoulder, his cheeks a vivid red.

* * *

Terra finally feels confident enough in his own self-control to move into the upper castle.

The day he tells Aqua, her face turns into a mixture of joy and relief and eagerness, and he realises he has almost forgotten what her smile looks like. It has not been long since he arrived, six weeks at best, but with each day he awakens feeling more like himself, and he no longer feels that he is at risk of being possessed by Xehanort in his sleep. There are no more burns on his wrist, no scratches at his arms as he fights for control in his sleep, and though his nightmares are far from gone, they do not put him at risk of possession.

“Do you need help moving your stuff upstairs?” Aqua asks, her voice gentle. She is warm even in the cool air of the cell, and Terra wants to move closer, to feel her warmth against his skin.

Instead, he looks pointedly around the empty room for a moment, and Aqua brings her hand to her mouth in an _oh_ of horror.

“You don’t have anything.” Her voice turns sad, and Terra wants nothing more than to push that crack in her voice away. She has been sad over him for far too long: he wants to see her laughing, smiling, even if it’s not quite the same as before.

“I mean, you did ambush me. And I didn’t exactly _have_ a lot of stuff anyway.” He smiles, trying to bring that smile to her face, but her lips turn down even _more_. Her eyes flitter to the floor as though she has realised _something_ , but when she speaks again she makes no mention of it.

“Well, shall we go upstairs now then? You have a room, or at least, _kind of_ a room. We were only supposed to be here for a few weeks.” Her words are stilted, off, as though she’s not quite sure if she’s dealing with fragile glass. Terra only nods at her, and follows her as she leads the way up to freedom.

He tries hard not to look at the pods as they exit the underground passage. He remembers them clearly enough, and he does not need a refresher to aid his nightmares. Aqua seems to understand, as she wraps her fingers around his wrist in a startling enough movement that he looks down her hand and keeps his gaze there until they are up the stairs and out of the laboratory.

Aqua leads him into his room, but before he can really take it in she darts off with an apology, and Terra has to push down the wave of disappointment. He had hoped she would stay, talk with him for a bit or keep him company.

Terra sits on the bed, aware that it is probably too small for his long legs. It _seems_ comfortable, but after so long in the darkness Terra finds that he prefers harder surfaces. None of them had noticed, but he has been sleeping on the floor of the cell since his chains were removed.

Nevertheless, the room is decent. There’s a small chest of drawers, a sink, a _window_ with little yellow curtains, and a rug on the floor that Terra is fairly certain has been cut out of the elaborate carpet that was in the Castle’s audience chamber.

He’s inspecting the drawers – _empty,_ and no other clothes of his own to put in them- and trying to figure out if there’s enough floor space for him to sleep when Aqua returns. She’s slightly out of breath, her cheeks flushed a pretty pink that Terra finds his eyes fixating on as she leans against the doorway.

“Sorry, I had to make sure I didn’t forget.” She pauses between her words, trying to breathe properly, and Terra smiles at her patiently. He does not know what to say with her, not when he is still filled with guilt, still brimming to the top with longing for his best friend. He does not think he can keep it hidden from her now, not when she has seen the worst of him (and still smiles at him like he’s the sun), but he knows he needs to be _himself_ again, properly him. He knows her well, too well, and he knows she will never be more than a friend to him if she thinks there is the slightest possibility that she could be taking advantage of his weakened heart.

She looks at him as he is lost in thought, her lower lip caught between her teeth. He has not changed even with the weeks down below. She had promised herself that she would tell him it all the day before their Mark of Mastery, but then he had failed, and then he had started succumbing to the darkness. And then he _fell_ to the darkness, before she _lived_ in it for twelve years, and though she had told herself to be honest when she escaped, she had not foreseen this. Terra broken and trying to fix himself, burdened by guilt and shame over crimes no one held him accountable for.

A door slams along the hallway, and Aqua jolts herself from her thoughts with a shake of her head.

“I found this with my armour. I wore it on my sash, but when we brought you in I thought it might be too painful. But, it’s yours, and I thought you’d want it back.” She holds out her hands, unfurling her fingers to reveal to Terra the bright orange of his wayfinder.

It is in nearly perfect condition, he notices, and he reaches for it automatically with that same sense of _mine_ that had overwhelmed him when it had been taken by that experiment all those years ago. The orange is still bright and warm, and the glass has no cracks in it. He is surprised that it stood the test of time in that chamber. Terra breathes out of his nose in a laugh, dangling it before his face with a grin on his lips. Aqua sees his expression, and her smile outshines his own.

Terra tests the strength of the string, before he loops it through his belt loop and ties it securely in place. It falls against his hip, bright and visible. Aqua does that satisfied smile of hers, the one where her face scrunches up and her shoulders shift, and Terra nods at her.

They don’t need to say more.

* * *

Eventually Riku and Aqua leave again, on a short mission where the main point is to make sure that the Organization is not gaining ground in areas they have not visited since Terra was recovered.

They return within two weeks, at which point Terra has moved to training outside with Ventus, Sora, Kairi and Lea. He is particularly interested and impressed by Merlin’s method of training Lea and Kairi with the fairies. He finds it baffling when he leaves a day-long training session with them both to find that only a few hours have passed in real time.

It is surreal, but he sees the advantage.

They land on a nondescript afternoon, Riku thankful for the cool air of Radiant Garden after too long in Agrabah. The heat had not bothered Aqua, but then again, the woman has spent too long in the Realm of Darkness to ever hate a warm breeze on sweaty skin.

They arrive at Merlin’s after a debrief with Mickey, the latter arriving a day earlier. Terra notices Riku is on edge, keeping a foot of space between himself and most of the others, and he motions for the younger man to follow him to the market.

The moment they’re out of earshot, Terra turns to him.

“Are you okay? You seem a little…distant.” And Terra cringes at his own words, because he is the _champion_ of distant and moody, even before he gave in to the darkness.

Riku frowns, purses his lips. There _is_ something up, being that him and Sora have been arguing over whether or not to tell the others of their relationship. Ventus had kept the whole matter quiet, not breathing a word to _anyone_ , and whilst Sora insists that the others will have no cause for concern, Riku is not so sure. Kairi he is certain would be fine with everything, and Lea was so far gone for Roxas that Riku doesn’t even need to think about his acceptance, but the newest trio he cannot figure out. The touching in public has been kept to an absolute minimum, much to Sora’s chagrin, but Riku cannot help his defensive nature.

Not when the man who gave him the keyblade is before him. He knows it is idiotic, Sora has told him enough, knows that his sexuality will have no bearing on the respect he garners from his friends, but the _fear_ is something drilled into him since he was a young boy. The comments of others have a way of sticking, and Riku has grown up believing he needs to hide it to keep himself safe from them.

“Riku, you in there?”

Riku looks up at Terra’s concerned face, and tries to smirk.

“Nah, I’m on a sunny beach. Think I might retire.”

Terra gives him an exasperated look, one Riku imagines Ventus will have seen often.

“Look, you don’t have to talk to me if you feel uncomfortable. I know I’ve been able to talk to you about everything, but I understand if you don’t want to confide in me. We've been talking about some pretty dark things, and I don't want that to be causing you pain. If you’re feeling down, you absolutely should speak to somebody-“

Riku cuts him off. “I’m sleeping with Sora.”

“Huh.” Terra says. A heartbeat passes. “Are you taking adequate precautions?”

Riku pales. “No, _no_. Not having this conversation.” He almost wishes he’d kept his mouth shut or, better yet, just full on kissed Sora in the square to avoid the questions.

But Terra laughs, determined. If he and Aqua had to sit through a similar talk by Eraqus, fifteen and reddening by the second as Eraqus explained that they _might_ want to start experimenting and if so, utilise the third drawer in the right-most cabinet in the infirmary, then Terra will damn well make his successor go through the same. He throws an arm around Riku’s shoulder, his height giving him the advantage, and Riku grins.

“We should go to the market, I don’t think the castle is well stocked and I remember Eraqus saying that lubrication is important-“

“Ugh, get off me!” Riku laughs as he jabs Terra sharply in the ribs, darting out of his grip when Terra clutches at his side. He chuckles through the pain, watching as Riku leans against the wall with one hand _laughing_ , and for the first time since his recovery he feels _normal_. Laughing and joking with his successor, with no fear that the lack of concentration will bring Xehanort to the surface.

“But education is _important_ , Riku.”

Riku makes a rude gesture with his hands.

“How about you talk to me about that when you’ve acted on your _painfully_ obvious feelings for Aqua. You’re killing us, really.”

Terra’s grin turns into a look of surprise, and Riku all but _hoots_ as he turns and flees through the alleys.

The sun is on his face, the darkness at bay, and he is a cracked version of himself, but Terra gives chase with a grin.

* * *

The world moves on, as it must, and Terra finds his training moving more towards ensuring he is ready to take another exam.

Yen Sid is insistent on them all becoming Masters, something which is difficult to ensure when Lea still summons his chakrams on instinct rather than the keyblade, when the redhead only wished for the keyblade to save lost friends. It is hard, when Terra still sometimes wakes with nightmares of the light turning to darkness. He wakes more often than not in a cold sweat, still shaking from dreams of Xehanort rising within him and reducing everything to ash. His use of magic is still lower than it used to be, the fear of summoning too much darkness a constant fear in his heart.

It is difficult to ensure, when the nobodies begin to appear in Radiant Garden again, and training sessions are more likely to be interrupted by a civilian’s cry for help than Merlin’s sharp instructions.

It is difficult to ensure, when every time Aqua enters the room Terra feels himself tense up, wound tighter than a coil and unable to focus, feeling as though he has the eyes of thousands on his back instead of a single pair of spectacular blues.

* * *

They’re in the square when fourteen years of looks across courtyards and yearning hearts come to an end.

They are returning to the castle from Merlin’s house, gummi parts in a satchel straight from Cid (because fitting seven of them into one gummi ship is just _too_ many). The hour is late, well past ten, but the summer of Radiant Garden means that the sun has only _just_ set, and though there is no sunlight the sky is still a light blue.

The square is devoid of occupants, and the only sound is the tinkling of the lights strung along the side of the houses in the breeze. Even with all the destruction, of the world falling to darkness and then reviving, Terra is amazed at how much brighter those lights make the square feel. The flowers have grown back, albeit in patches and no longer strictly within their assigned flower beds.

They are in the square, admiring the colour of the sky (the colour of her _eyes_ ), close enough to touch, and for a moment it feels as it always did. The two of them, watching the skies and standing close enough that the heat from Terra’s body makes the hairs on Aqua’s arms rise, when the smell of her hair permeates his breathing until it is all he can smell. Their hearts thudding in their ears, as the unspoken _thing_ between them burns brighter than a match but cannot be acted on because it might not be _forbidden_ , but neither of them are stupid enough to not know that the moment the line is crossed things will never be the same again.

They’re standing in the square, and fourteen years of lingering glances and ignoring butterflies under the skin comes to an end when Aqua turns to look at him, and the wall between them crumbles. Hearts that have been broken by the other through their actions are bared, and Aqua can almost feel the wind in her chest.

The sky has turned dark, and the moon shines down on them. Aqua’s quiet sigh dances in the air before them, and Terra feels that if he walks away the world might well disappear.

“Why did you never say anything?” Her voice is low, and this is _it_ , the moment where the world changes, and Terra is both ready for it and ready to flee. His heart shakes in his chest, and as if to show she _knows_ it Aqua turns, her bare left shoulder brushing against his arm as she faces him.

“Why didn’t you?” Terra counters, because he is _terrified_. His voice is calm and steady, but he can feel his heart in his chest. Once there was a time he would scoff at the idea of being so weak when facing _words_ , but he was once a fool and it hurts to _breathe_.

Aqua’s eyes focus on a point over his shoulder, at the row of houses behind him with their little fairy lights and warm glow radiating from behind closed curtains.

“I wanted to. After the Mark of Mastery. But somehow, I must have known that you were fading away, and that these feelings that I wanted to convey, I…” She pauses, her eyes narrowing, but Terra knows she is not reacting to anything behind him, but to her own words. She sighs. “I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. And I kept saying the wrong things, pushing you further away.” She fiddles with the sigil on her chest, _his_ sigil, and when she looks up at him her gaze burns into him.

“I wondered, if I had said something, if I was there _with_ you instead of just trying to chastise you, would any of this have happened?”

Terra shakes his head almost immediately, his cheeks still warm from her look and his heart still shaking. He might not be much of a believer in pre-determined paths, but even he can recognise that nothing would have stopped him from falling to Xehanort short of actually passing the exam the first time. His pride was too wounded, his dreams too crushed, and Xehanort’s words had been the perfect balm to his aching soul.

No amount of _anything_ from Aqua could have stopped it.

“It would have happened, Aqua. I thought I had it figured out.” He reaches out for her hand, as she had reached for his when trapped in the Realm of Darkness, and threads their fingers together. Her fingertips are cool, but he still feels _terrified_.

“I knew how you felt, Aqua, and I still did it. This?” He squeezes her hand gently. “This would not have saved me.”

She smiles at him, and it is not that sad smile he has seen too often lately, but the warm one she wore the day she gave him and Ven the wayfinders. Terra responds in kind, and then realises he never answered her question.

“I kept quiet because I was focused on myself. I couldn’t afford any distractions, I was so desperate to become a Master. But I’ve learned I don’t have to rely on just myself, not anymore.”

“It’s not a bad thing if you do. You just don’t need to shut us out, if you’re hurting.”

Terra only nods, for her words are sincere even if his conscience is not sure, certain his own pride and refusal to let anything distract him from getting the power of a Keyblade Master had been the cause of everything.

If he had planned on saying anything, it flies right out of the damned window when Aqua moves even closer. She is not much shorter than him, and his breath hitches in his chest because she is _so_ close, her nose millimetres from his chin.

Her kiss is not unexpected, a warm touch of soft lips against his own as she leans up, one hand on his chest to steady herself. There is no declaration of feelings, their wounds still too raw to deal with declarations of love and yearning, but there is _them_ , here and now and able to deal with that unspoken thing. Just her lips pressed against his own, before she pulls back and really _looks_ at him, and Terra realises he is supposed to _do_ something.

He reaches out for her, one hand grazing along her jaw and burying into her hair whilst the other rests on the small of her back, and she fits against him seamlessly. As she always has, he thinks, whether when sparring or training, walking along the mountain path or huddling with Ven for warmth on colder nights.

The second kiss is as slow as the first, gentle as though _he_ is made of spun glass as Aqua tries her hardest not to push further than she has, and Terra pushes down the utterly irrational fear that Xehanort will take over now that his guard is down. It is simple and sweet, nothing like the teenage dreams of hot kisses and fumbling in the dark, but then again at nineteen who’d have thought they’d end up here more than fourteen years in the future and never having aged a day for twelve of them?

All that matters is his hand on her waist, her fingers curled in the stretchy fabric of his vest, and her lips on his own as she presses closer.

* * *

Their stay at Radiant Garden ends in a rather abrupt manner, early one Wednesday morning when Ienzo manages to re-activate the defence system for the world.

They are no longer needed, nor do they need Radiant Garden. Terra is physically healed, and whilst his dreams may haunt him for many years, there is no risk of Xehanort surfacing. Riku and Aqua’s skills are needed elsewhere, as are Lea’s, and Yen Sid has requested Sora and Ventus for their Mark of Mastery exams.

It is with little sadness then that they prepare to leave Radiant Garden. The apprentices are glad to have their castle back (and really, Riku is struggling to understand _why_ they were allowed to use it in the first place), and Riku is glad to no longer be boxed in. Sora, next to him in the gummi ship’s pilot seat, feels the same, bouncing and eager to set off with one hand resting on Riku’s knee as they wait. Riku knows he has missed Donald and Goofy, and even though he will miss Sora he is glad he will be with his other friends again. Kairi, on the other side of Sora, looks as though she is ready to be sick even though the ship’s engines haven’t even come online yet, and he reaches into a compartment to find a plastic bag.

They’re ready to leave, and Riku almost rolls his eyes because the only reason they _haven’t_ yet is because of Lea.

Lea, who is stood between the two gummi ships with his backpack slung haphazardly over one shoulder, black leather jacket _surely_ far too hot, debating which one to get in. Riku opens the window seal.

“Will you make a decision already? It’s a three hour journey, tops.”

Lea looks up at him, his grin an arrogant flash of white teeth, and Riku is so glad he never met Lea when he was fifteen. He was cocky enough without an extra friend to encourage it. Lea holds his chin in his hand, his face dramatically serious.

“Oh y’know, it’s such a hard choice. Do I sit uncomfortably in the gummi ship with the man who kidnapped my boyfriend, the man who _absorbed_ him, and the woman I kidnapped, who now kicks my ass on a daily basis? _Or_ , do I sit with the man who _looks_ like my boyfriend, the man who was my boss and threatened to turn _me_ into a dusk if I didn’t _kill_ my boyfriend, and the woman who…” Lea trails off, all sarcastic airs and cocksure smile gone as he narrows his eyes up at Aqua. “What did I do to you? What did you do to me?”

Aqua laughs into her hand before she shouts through the open window.

“You set my sash on fire, once. But that’s about it.”

Lea snaps his fingers.

“Yes! Or with the woman I set on fire once. Such a difficult decision, really, figuring out which ship I’ll be most uncomfortable in.”

“Just get in a damn ship.” Terra pipes up, unseen from where Lea stands but still able to be heard. Ventus laughs from the seat closest to the door, and Lea scowls.

“Well, as much as I’d love to sit with my favourite geriatric trio, I think I’ll sit with the kiddies.” His grin is sharp, and he saunters over to Sora’s ship and pulls himself up into the doorway by the rail.

“Hey, who you calling a _kiddie_?”

Terra shakes his head in their ship as Sora’s voice carries into it. Aqua is at the controls, and the last they see of the redhead is his hair as the door to their ship slides shut.

“Buckled in, boys?” Aqua asks, her smile a definite smirk, and Ventus nods. Terra grimaces: he’s definitely got the seat meant for the duck or the mouse, because the belt barely goes over his breastbone. Aqua laughs when she turns around and sees it.

“Just turn the damn ship on.” Terra grumbles, though his lips quirk in a smile, and across from him Ventus‘ smile is almost blinding. It’s the three of them as they always should have been, and though the future is uncertain and Xehanort’s new Organization has still yet to be defeated, Terra feels as though there is some sort of closure in the simple act of leaving Radiant Garden.

It is a sign he is trusted, even if he does not trust himself, a new adventure with an unknown ending, following friends both old and new.

It is the beginning of a new fight, the _right_ fight.


End file.
